Indulging

During a conversation with my cousin discussing food earlier this week he asked,  “Now tell me why is it that people know that something is bad for them yet they do it anyway?” I responded with a very clinical answer. I spoke about how dopamine is released for instant gratification. I explained that there is a subconscious reason for every action and often people are looking for immediate gratification and comfort. Naturally, our brains are wired to seek reward and comfort, in turn triggers the release of dopamine: the “feel-good” hormone. This causes us to crave more as we associate good feelings with undesired behaviors. And, then we moved on to another topic. 

After we got off the phone I thought more about my response; it wasn’t good enough. I know that I feel best when I eat “whole foods”, lean protein, fruits, veggies, and whole grains. Though, time and time again (typically after a long week or a very stressful day) I find myself reasoning why it’s ok for me to have something otherwise. I know I will feel gross after; I seriously physically don’t feel well. Yet, I do it anyway. It doesn’t make sense. I processed this a bit and felt he deserved a better response, so here we go… 

We indulge in behaviors we know aren’t good for us because it provides comfort. We feel like we “should” be able to. We know what a bad habit is. Smoking, eating unhealthy foods, excessive alcohol consumption, and living a sedentary lifestyle are just some of the things to avoid in order to increase our overall well-being. If we know these things are detrimental to our health and well being, why do we continue to do them? 

Well, smoking that cigarette on a work break can cause the brain to associate that habit with freedom from work and relaxing, or having that evening drink(or several drinks) may be associated with letting go and having a good time after a hard week. The thought of exercising and making some kind of effort is overridden by the subconscious brain by the ‘easier’ thought of sitting on the couch and watching a favorite TV program. It’s easy to see how the habit is connected with that detrimental reward. 

We seek comfort, instant comfort feels good. The feeling of discomfort is not desirable.  Pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone to break a habit or change a lifestyle is hard work. Though, the reward is incredible! Living outside of our comfort zone needs to be purposeful, intentional, and with no excuses or reasons such as; “Why not”, “I had a long week so I deserve it”, or "I'm stressed I’ll deal with it later”. It’s a vicious cycle we get caught in. With this narrative we continue to indulge in unfavorable things and find it hard to stop. It feels comfortable, we receive instant gratification, and we essentially allow ourselves to live in a state of self-sabotage. 

We get attracted to the reward despite knowing it’s detrimental and rationalize why it’s okay. We tend to rationalize our behaviors if society as a whole finds it acceptable. If a vast amount of people are doing the same thing, then it must be okay for us to do it too, right? That’s not how it works!  It’s not difficult to find bad habits that are socially acceptable. Unhealthy eating, skipping exercises and excessive drinking are things that many people do. We tell ourselves “if they do it, why can’t I”, “just one more won’t hurt” or “I’ll do better next week”. These in-the-moment justifications tend to be driven by the guilt of knowing we’re probably not making the best decision. We look outward for examples that validate our decisions such as “my grandfather drank, smoked, and fried everything in bacon grease every day and lived until he was 100.” Here we cling to “evidence” that backs up our decisions and tell ourselves why it’s “Ok”, and in reality these behaviors are holding us back to reaching our personal wellness goals.  

So, how do we get a grip on this?

Commit: Even when it’s hard, we need to allow ourselves to be uncomfortable and battle our inner dialogue of rationalizing why we “should be able to”. Make small incremental changes over time.  It takes 30 days to create a habit, good or bad, and 90 days for it to become a lifestyle. Focus on one thing at a time.  Whether it be waking up at an earlier time to be more productive, limiting sugar intake, cutting back on alcohol consumption, adding movement breaks throughout the day, or potentially skipping the fast-food drive through the way home from work. 

Be mindful: What undesired behaviors are indulgences, how often, and what are the triggers that cause these behaviors? Is it an unconscious decision?  Think about why or how this habit was created. For example, eating french fries and chocolate after a hard day. What is a healthier reward snack? Can the frequency of indulging be reduced? Perhaps if stress is the trigger, exercise to give the brain another reason to release dopamine instead. 

Be consistent:  The key to forming new habits is consistency. This will be hard work at first. If we push through the “tough” it will get easier. The brain soon adapts to new ways of doing things until it starts to feel natural. As a reward, acknowledge, share, and celebrate successes. We need to condition the brain to a new, positive way of thinking.

Living a happier, more positive life starts with the habits we choose to form. Be mindful of which direction habits are pointing and start changing the mindset investing in health and well-being. It’s not just for the future self, it will also allow us to live our best lives now in a more healthy, positive way. 

Be well, 

Jennifer Russotiesi, LCPC, MAEd, MA Counseling

Edited by: Giovanna Russotiesi